I hate that this stupid cough / itch in my throat keeps me from doing things. Like SCHOOL for example. Its only been 3 weeks since I started but somehow, I've managed to miss 3 days already. I was trying really hard to not miss a day this week because they're already on my ass about attendance. But I'm not gonna be up in school coughing my lungs off and puking up mucus. At least not in front of everyone. If it was a clear classroom, who gives a fuck. But I'm not looking for an audience. I went in today for 40 minutes. 40 FUCKIN MINUTES!!! In case you've been sleeping under a rock... Gas aint no joke.
Oh yeah... and I'm super energized too. I drank 2 large glasses of coffee this morning -one before going for my daily 2-5 mile walk/run and another before school. Maybe I'll hike my ass up Stone Mountain today.
Negativity on a 24/7 basis is ugly. I'm more like... 10/5 ya digg? Which is still a lot. I stress all the damn time bout I dont know what the fuck! Its like the right side of my brain got beef with the left side. I'm constantly battling myself. I sound so fuckin bipolar right now. But kid you not, I'm NOT. Lol.
With the recession eating up all my doe, bills piling up, school on my ass, and a boyfriend who throws more bitch fits than any other female I've come in contact with... my release therapy is ANYTHING away from the house, school, and him. The bottle does some wonders too. But when you're trying to get lean and fit, the laaaast thing you wanna result to is the liquor cabinet. I go to the park on the daily to rejuvenate and relax from the everyday hustle and bustle. It helps... but it never seems far enough. Right now.. I'm just trying to deal with shit the way they are. I keep telling myself that eventually, shit will get right. things will turn around. and the sun will start beaming out my ass again. everyone says give it time. I say FUCK TIME. I'm getting old. Yes, I'm only 22... but damn if I dont feel like im 60.
I recently started to focus more on myself and not give a shit so much about others. Think what you will but I dont think its selfish at all. I spend so much trying to please everyone and their mamas that when it comes to myself.. I fall behind, I stress, and I'm just not content. And thennnn when I ask for help.. I get the cold shoulder. Well, this is when I say "fuuuuuck... dat n*gga!" -The Dream "I Love Ur Girl"
I'm new to this because I got sick and tired of blogger.com fuckin up on me. Soooo... welcome me. THANKS.
Annnnd since it is May 11th, HAPPY MOTHERS DAY FATHERFUCKERS! No kids here (and there wont be for quite some time)... however, I have 2 dogs who I feed, take care of, and pick shit up after. DO THE MATH!
